Medical procedures here are handled with remarkable efficiency. Not always with remarkable explanation of what is happening, due to the language barrier, but there is a reassuring calm in the way the needles are injected, the buttons pushed, the bells rung. I like it. I also like the crazy pantomimes that I am party to when the technicians (not one of whom appears to be over 14) get me to leap up onto machines, take a radioactive injection for a scan or lie perfectly still and breathe shallowly for an hour. It makes me think that words are probably superfluous to requirements- I know exactly what I have to do. I do not know how to breathe shallowly, though.

As entertaining are the ones who speak some English, the young man who gave me the shot for the bone scan for example, with his hesitant chuckle as I joked about glowing in the dark.
Is she serious?
Should I apologise?
Can I laugh?
Is there a right answer?

Funny, too, was the girl who did the biopsy. She had performed the ultrasound earlier, and was very apologetic about her perfectly acceptable English (Why do my sixth graders not get so upset about their errors??) I told her that her English was far better than my Korean, and she immediately started testing my vocabulary. Hers was good enough to tell me about the 'problematic tumour' without hesitation, so I guess she'll do.

The biopsy went like this:

Tech: We call device 'Biopsy Gun'
P: Are you going to shoot me?
Tech: No, but it makes big noise like  gun.
P: Ok, fire away.
Tech: (Frowning with the effort) It's hard to push here. Is hard inside breast.
P: That's because it's so small. It if were big and floppy, you'd have no trouble.
Tech: Yes, is small. (No sugar-coating here, folks!) Now be ready for bang.
The machine snaps as she takes the sample, not unlike the gun used for piercing ears.
P: We would probably call that noise a snap.
Tech: Snap?
P: Snap.
We proceed to shout 'Snap!' with all the subsequent three shots of the gun. As she is cleaning up the blood- and there is a surprising amount of blood- she says 'Thank you for cooperating.'

'Well, you did have a gun...' I replied.