Closing the book

 It feels like the time has come to wrap this up. It has been ten months since I found the lump and nine since I started chemotherapy. My last radiation treatment has long since come and gone and the burns have started to fade. As far as I am aware, the cancer is gone. Other than the follow-on chemo and the hormones, treatment appears to be finished. So too does the bloggin'. There isn't much else to be said. I can't say that things are getting back to normal because I'm not entirely sure what normal looks like, especially considering how distinctly ABnormal these Korean years have been. Also, apart from trips to the hospital and stabs and jabs and operations and chemicals and insurance companies and hair loss and depression and insomnia and a couple of broken hearts thrown in for good measure- well, nothing seemed especially unusual while it was happening. What are you gonna do? Hide under the duvet? Na.

So, what is happening, as the threads are being tied up? I am getting to the gym six mornings a week, and the workouts are up to an hour. I am not seeing any visible benefits: my jeans are no looser (according to my oncologist, I will gain weight while I'm on the hormones, the nasty woman) but I feel stronger, like my heart and lungs are stretching and yawning as they wake up. I think the endorphins are helping with the depression, and I am sleeping better. All good.

Annie is so busy that if anything, I see less of her. Her university applications seem to have been productive, as she's had responses from all the schools she applied to. We are waiting for a firm answer from her second choice, and for an interview with her first. I have three and a half months left before she heads off. I think of all the fall out of the move to Korea- house, career, tribe, all- the thing that I really resent losing is time with her- these years when she should have been home with me. There. That's my gripe on that topic, and nothing to do with being ill.

Work ticks over. Plans are afoot for changing to the MYP, which I think is good. Lots of people are moving on this year, which I think is bad. We're taking a group of students to the UK in three weeks for Spring Break, and the preparations are taking alot of time. Good fun, though, as it's been a long time since I was able to organise anything on this scale. Considering some of the things I used to sort out on a regular basis it seems fairly low-key, but that is how things are now.

The follow on chemo will still happen every three weeks, up until October. The latest one was on Thursday- fairly uneventful, apart maybe from the reaction of the oncology department reception staff when I arrived, two minutes late and panting. They all looked up at once, and shouted 'Patree-cha' almost in unison. Then they promptly fell about, laughing. I can't imagine what all the other patients thought of it. Otherwise, nothing worth reporting on happened at the hospital. I have noticed that one or two colleagues seem to find conversations immediately after treatment pretty entertaining. My brain is generally a little left of centre for a few hours when I get back to school, though, which could explain it.

My hair is long enough to require both styling product and regular trims. I am undecided about letting it grow, so in the meantime, it stays short. I have taken to telling people that I'm experimenting to see how much favourable masculine attention it gets me before making up my mind. I can pretend to collect data on that for some time, as there is a very limited research pool. 

So, with the return to health and well-being, my reason for keeping up with this has disappeared. That really can only be a good thing. It has been a good way of recording events- it was a dismal failure at preventing people from asking how I am feeling, which was part of its original intent. It also failed to act as a psychic prod to the two or three people who continue to inflict unwelcome touch on me. Might just have to actually DEAL with them. Sigh.

And with that, gentle readers, I sign out. Thanks for following, and for the love and encouragement over these months. I am grateful.